The Seven Year Hitch

Name: The Seven Year Hitch
Genre: Suburb, Fake Relationship, Mistaken Identity, Pet, Cute Kid
Released: 2012-01-01
Duration: 1 h 28 min
Rating: 6
Cast: Natalie Hall, Darin Brooks, Frances Fisher, George Wendt, Ryan Doom

6.0/10 · 1,666 ratings20121h 28mWeirdness 4/10Bingo card

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The premise

Two best friends accidentally take their relationship to the next level and suddenly find themselves saying 'I do.'

Themes:True love vs. Social status The definition of family Growing up and taking responsibility Hidden feelings in long-term friendships

How unusual is it?

Middle of the road, with a twist — a fake relationship and mistaken identity keep it from being totally by-the-book.

Who’s in it

Our Girl

Natalie Hall

as Jennifer

Our Guy

Darin Brooks

as Kevin

Alongside them

Show all 10 cast

Behind the camera

Show

Directed by

Bradford May

Written by

Wait, what?

The quirks and curveballs that make this one a little weirder than your average Hallmark. No spoilers, promise.

Using common-law marriage as a legal weapon to stop a wedding
A high-stakes business deal saved by a Gilbert and Sullivan karaoke performance
The legal evidence for marriage including a shared cable account and a cruise discount
A friendship ring made in a 1970s commune being a central plot point
The protagonist's dog eating a golf ball as a major emotional catalyst

Every trope, all in one place

Here’s everything this one has going on, from the setting to the way it wraps up. Tap any of the 27 to find more movies that do the same thing.

How it all plays out

Already seen it, or just can’t wait? Open this up for the whole story, ending included.

Full story (spoilers)

The film begins with a series of flashbacks showing Jennifer and Kevin as childhood neighbors and college friends, establishing a lifelong bond where Jennifer is the organized achiever and Kevin is the carefree slacker. Upon graduation, Jennifer buys a house and allows Kevin to move in 'for a week or two' until he gets on his feet. Seven years later, Kevin is still there, working as a golf caddy and designing board games while Jennifer has become a successful professional. Jennifer is dating Bryce, a manipulative lawyer who views Jennifer as a 'trophy wife' to help him secure a partnership at his firm. When Bryce proposes with a supposedly antique family heirloom, Jennifer tells Kevin he must finally move out. Heartbroken and suspicious of Bryce's intentions, Kevin consults his friend Jeremy, a perpetual law school student, who suggests that Jennifer and Kevin meet the criteria for a common-law marriage. Kevin presents this claim to Jennifer, stalling her wedding plans. Jennifer's lawyer friend Sally confirms that because they have lived together for seven years, shared a cable account, and once posed as a married couple for a cruise discount, Kevin has a legitimate legal case. Sally advises Jennifer to use 'tough love' by forcing Kevin to fulfill the grueling duties of a real husband—handling the mortgage, chores, and babysitting—hoping he will crack and sign a waiver. Surprisingly, Kevin rises to the challenge, even winning over Jennifer's biggest Japanese client, Mr. Fujimura, by performing 'H.M.S. Pinafore' at a business dinner. The turning point occurs when Jennifer's dog, Napoleon, falls ill; Bryce dismisses the emergency to focus on his career, while Kevin misses a life-changing meeting with an investor to stay at the vet with Jennifer. At the wedding rehearsal, Jennifer discovers Bryce lied about the engagement ring and doesn't even know her favorite color. After Kevin punches Bryce for insulting Jennifer, he finally signs the waiver to let her be happy. Realizing she has been in love with Kevin all along, Jennifer stops him from leaving town at a bus station. The film concludes with Jennifer and Kevin getting legally married, Kevin's board game being a success, and the couple finally finding romantic bliss in the home they already shared.

Beat by beat

Opening
Jennifer buys a house and allows her best friend Kevin to move in as a temporary roommate, a situation that lasts seven years.
Inciting Incident
Bryce proposes to Jennifer, prompting her to ask Kevin to move out, which leads Kevin to realize his true feelings.
Midpoint
Kevin claims they are already common-law married; Jennifer attempts to 'break' him by assigning him overwhelming domestic responsibilities.
Turning Point
Napoleon the dog gets sick; Kevin sacrifices a major career opportunity to help Jennifer while Bryce ignores the crisis.
Climax
At the rehearsal dinner, Jennifer realizes Bryce is a liar who doesn't know her; Kevin punches Bryce and later signs the waiver to set Jennifer free.
Resolution
Jennifer stops Kevin at the bus station, confesses her love, and they eventually have a real wedding.

27 tropes in one movie

We counted 27 distinct Hallmark tropes packed into this one — a genuine greatest-hits reel.

How it stacks up

Where this one’s rating lands against every other rated Hallmark movie.

Higher-rated than 15% of every rated Hallmark movie. The median is 6.4.

Where this one fits

The corners of the catalog The Seven Year Hitch belongs to — handy if you’re after more of the same.

BINGOA dance or a ballA big public romantic gestureA genuine Christmas miracleA snowball fight, sledding or skatingSomeone races to catch the other before they leaveA shared account counts as marriage evidenceA demanding overseas business client must be impressedA big event everyone is preparing forA wise elder dispenses adviceA second chance worth takingSomeone’s guard finally comes downGrueling husband chores are assigned as punishment★Plans get derailed by the weatherThe lead works as a executiveSomeone designs board games on the sideAn old keepsake or photograph turns upA workaholic learns to slow downA quiet moment under string lightsA warm hug that lingersA common-law marriage loophole gets invokedSet in the suburbsThe story ends with a weddingA happy endingA heartfelt love confession

Hallmark Bingo

Your The Seven Year Hitch card is dealt.

Twenty-four squares pulled from this movie’s own quirks — the cosy classics, a few only-in-this-one curveballs, and a couple of decoys. Mark them as you watch.

Open your card

Lines worth quoting

The lines that stuck with us — the ones you’ll be repeating after the credits roll.

“Buddy, I'm doing your karma a favor. Your slinky, I believe.”
— KevinKevin meeting Jennifer for the first time as children.
“Jennifer here is a diamond. And you're treating her like a rhinestone.”
— KevinKevin confronting Bryce about his poor treatment of Jennifer.
“The first seven years, Kev, they were just practice. The next seven... we'll get it right.”
— JenniferJennifer speaking to Kevin at their wedding.

Meet the characters

Who’s who before you press play. Nothing here gives the ending away.

Jennifer
Lead
City Planner / Professional
OrganizedAmbitiousLoyalBlind to true love
Kevin
Love interest
Caddy / Board Game Designer
Best friend and 'common-law husband'
SlackerCreativeDevotedFunny
Bryce
Antagonist
Lawyer
Fiancé
ArrogantDishonestStatus-seekingNegligent
Sally
Supporting
Lawyer
Best friend and legal counsel
PragmaticSkepticalMotherly

Questions people ask about The Seven Year Hitch

Where can I watch The Seven Year Hitch?

The Seven Year Hitch is available via UP Faith & Family Apple TV channel, UP Faith & Family Amazon Channel, and Xumo Play. Streaming options change often, so check current availability before settling in.

How long is The Seven Year Hitch?

The Seven Year Hitch runs about 1 hour and 28 minutes, and was released in 2012.

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